Ellen DuBois Blog. Writing and Photography

(Note: This was written by my father, Alfred E. DuBois. I have published it, with his permission, on my website/blog, etc. )

I Am Too

Part One: An Accounting of Faith, Hope and Love

By: Alfred E. DuBois

The following is true. Names have been changed in respect of privacy. Family names are authentic.

The day was overcast and dreary as I sat alone on a bench on the north side of the village green. The green in the center of the town square was surrounded by non descript, concrete buildings devoid of any signs, neon lights or ads promoting businesses, although I was sure there were some there. With the overcast and fog they just weren't visible.

Where I was sitting was largely unpopulated, while the southern end of the green was quite crowded with men, women and children in abundance. That was fine with me. I just wanted to be alone and relax, not realizing this was not to be.

A couple approached me and the gentleman offered a courteous "Hello" which I returned. The woman spoke. "Al, are you coming to the Door and Window Festival tonight?" I was quite taken aback by how this woman I never saw before in my life knew my name and what the hell was a Door and Window Festival?

"I don't think so," said I, unknowingly encouraging her to tell me what a "Door and Window Festival" was all about.

"Oh, you should come" she said. "We do it every year. There's fun and games for the kids, lots of music, great food. I know you'll have a great time. See you there?" It was part question, part "See you there!" command.

"Maybe," I compromised. They continued on their way, leaving me alone once again.

At this point, a short, perky gentleman with a quick step was walking by my bench and said "Hi Al." I recognized him as Pat Marony, a former lector at a Catholic church I was organist at for fourteen years- about forty years ago, and returned the greeting. Pat and I had been quite friendly in those days and often had coffee and doughnuts together between Sunday masses. The only problem was Pat had died from Alzheimer's about fifteen or twenty years ago. Surely, although sharing a physical resemblance, this was clearly a case of mistaken identity.

I decided to get up and walk around the green to stretch and loosen up a bit. As I neared the crowd, a woman who looked all the world like a former neighbor, Loraine Weaver, approached me smiling.

"Al, so good to see you." She looked away for a moment, then returned to face me again. She looked totally unfamiliar- definitely was not Loraine and continued. "It'll be so good to see you two together tonight. It's been a long time."

I wondered, didn't she know my wife had died ten months ago? What was going on?

"Well, maybe one of us," I said.

She simply smiled and walked away.

One thing I should have mentioned earlier: in addition to the park benches like I was sitting on, the green was covered with picnic tables from end to end. There were far more tables than park benches, obviously in preparation for the night's festivities, but being alone, I had elected a bench.

While sitting and looking around at the people I thought for a moment I saw Marlane, my deceased wife among them. She was some distance away, not distinctly clear, but certainly resembled Marlane in appearance. I stood to get a better view but in the process lost her in the crowd.

I sat back down, disappointed at myself for thinking the impossible and noticing that while the tables at the southern end of the green were quickly filling up, the northern end was still pretty sparse. I decided to move to one of the empty tables for a change of pace.

I looked around, taking another view of the preparation for the upcoming event. I saw that it was beginning to take shape. Some food, buffet style, was being set up and the crowd was beginning to grow. I sighed, sat back, closed my eyes, reopened them looking to my right, then to my left and stopped. There, two tables away, she was sitting alone staring at me. "Hello there."

My heart was pounding. My hands were sweating. I had so many things to say. "Hi."

If you offered me a million dollars to tell you what happened next I couldn't. I know we exchanged small talk. It was pleasant, not profound or memorable. I looked around, sighed and looked back toward her, wanting to tell her so many things.

She was gone.

About this time I was approached by two men wearing official looking name tags, obviously on a mission. It turned out they wanted me to play the piano at the "Door and Window Festival" in exchange for which they would give me a free ten dollar admission ticket. I somewhat reluctantly agreed hoping another, more productive meeting with Marlane would result.

It's funny how things work. I might not be the quickest guy in the world or the brightest light on the tree, but it was finally beginning to occur to me that this entire happening, real as it seemed, was a dream. The people I was meeting, at once familiar and non familiar, were actually products of my desire to be with my wife of more than fifty four years, hold her and tell her what I should have told her more often over those years. A guilt trip that haunts me and I am sure many others who have lost a devoted partner they all think prematurely.

I was thinking about this when the two name tags showed up again. They couldn't find the piano, but wanted to give me the ticket anyway since I had offered to play it. I accepted and told them to keep looking. If they found it, I would play it.

Returning to my table, which was still unoccupied although those all the way to the middle of the green were quickly filling in, I relaxed as best I could, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. I opened them quickly. Marlane was sitting two tables away again staring at me.

She had changed and was wearing one of my favorite outfits. Her red blouse was gracefully framed by a white sweater and she looked radiant. There wasn't a wrinkle anywhere on her face and looked to be in her early forties. She was smiling that infectious grin and I was angry.

Angry because I realized this was a dream, that I would awaken soon and it would all be gone. How could I tell her gently? How could I not show the anger and frustration I was feeling?

I gripped a hold of the edge of the table while rising to a standing position. This was it.

"This isn't real" I said loudly. "I am dreaming!" Almost a scream.

She had a three word reply but it wasn't to come within the dream. As

I lay on my back in bed I felt her breath in my right ear and heard her voice, not loud, but clear, personal and up close. "I am too!"

The vision in the dream disappeared before I could open my eyes. I almost expected to see and feel her next to me but knew she wouldn't be.

This had been far more than a dream. She was in mine and I was in hers at the same time. "I am too" calmly, clearly in control, unlike my angry outburst. No longer agnostic, there is no doubt in my mind that there is an after life, she is in it, enjoying it and is okay. Therefore, "I am too."

I Am Too

Part Two: The Connection

I had made one of my rare visits to the cemetery where my parents Alfred and Ellen, son David and wife Marlane are buried on Wednesday, October fifteenth, 2015. This was probably my third time since my wife had passed away January third of this year. Although I have a short conversation and offer some prayers daily, visiting cemeteries is just not my thing. We all react differently to these situations.

In part one I wrote about what occurred within and after the dream Thursday night. I did this Friday morning while the vivid details and the feeling of Marlane's warm breath upon my ear were fresh on my mind. What happened Friday night blew me away.

I have three wonderful daughters named Debbie, Ellen and Lori in their forties and early fifties. None of us have ever really been into the psychic or paranormal. I say that fully realizing some events defy explanation.

Lori, the youngest of the three has a daughter who began her freshman year in high school this fall and a son who entered middle school the same time. Her friend Kerry has the same combination so they have come up with a perfect carpool arrangement to efficiently transport their kids to and from school each day. Debbie, Ellen and I have never met Kerry so we do not know her, although she and Lori as well as their children are good friends.

That Friday evening Kerry attended a showing by a well know medium which drew an audience of about two hundred people.

I am attempting to recreate what happened next as accurately as possible since I was not there and am relying on descriptions by Lori and Ellen originally, given to Lori by Kerry.

As the medium was moving around the hall she reported strong vibes when close to Kerry.

"Does someone near me know an Ellen?" A few hands raised in response. All knew a deceased Ellen, some passing away years ago, others more recently. "No, this Ellen is alive and someone from the other side is trying to communicate with her." The medium explained.

As she moved around the room the vibes grew weaker but became strong again when Kerry was approached. "Does someone near me know a Lori?" Kerry hesitantly raised her hand. "The vibes are really strong" said the medium. "Are you sure you don't know an Ellen?"

"Positive" was the reply.

"All right" said the medium, abruptly changing direction and leading into another question. "Did the Lori you know recently lose her mother to lung disease?"

Kerry, dumbfounded, nervously answered "Yes."

The vibes were very strong and the following quote is exactly, word for word, as Kerry reported to Lori. "This woman is very adamant you get this message to Lori. I'm okay. I'm breathing."

"That's it?"

"That's it!"

Upon returning home later that evening, Kerry knew exactly what she had to do in spite of the late hour.

She phoned Lori, explaining that she had seen a medium earlier and she had to ask Lori the question that had been on her mind the entire drive home. "Do you know anyone named Ellen?"

Lori replied, "I have a sister Ellen."

"Oh, my God."

At this point, bursting with curiosity, Lori shouted, "What?"

"I have a message from your mother. The medium said she was adamant I get this message to you and Ellen. I'm okay. I'm breathing!"

Moments later Lori was on the phone with Ellen. Needless to say, they were overcome with emotion and excitement. As they began to calm down, Lori wondered aloud why Debbie and I were not included in the adamant message. They had the answer the next morning when I called Ellen about a completely unrelated matter.

At the very moment they were on the phone together, I was sitting in the kitchen at my house reading Debbie the recently completed manuscript for "I Am Too. An Accounting of Faith, Hope and Love." The messages, though different, were being exchanged among family members at the exact same time and were meant to reassure us that all is well. We know it is real.

That's the way Marlane plans things.

Note: This was written by my father, Alfred E. DuBois.

About me:  My name is Ellen DuBois, born and raised in Massachusetts. I love New England with its changes in seasons and natural beauty.

I'm the author of I Never Held You and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures. 

Note: This post may contain affiliate links and I may be compensated a small commission at no cost to you if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.

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So, this is a little different from the photography posts I've been putting out there. It's about meatballs, plain and simple.

Next time you're grocery shopping, give Tempo Italian Meatball Mix a try. I think you'll be very happy with the results!

 

About me:  My name is Ellen DuBois, born and raised in Massachusetts. I love New England with its changes in seasons and natural beauty.

I'm the author of I Never Held You and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures. 

Note: This post may contain affiliate links and I may be compensated a small commission at no cost to you if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.

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I love going outdoors with my camera and capturing just the right moment. Maybe it's a bird- like a cardinal standing on a rock in the sun. Perhaps I was lucky enough to capture a squirrel mid-air as it ran through the yard. I find such joy in taking pictures. I think it's because, in part, I see the beauty of the world around us, even in the most "ordinary" things.

The courses offered by photowhoa look amazing. While I haven't explored them yet, they definitely interest me! Take a look. Sale ends on March 19th! I'm going to take a look, too! Use code PATRICK15

About me:  My name is Ellen DuBois, born and raised in Massachusetts. I love New England with its changes in seasons and natural beauty.

I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures. 

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This was the Christmas I knew Santa HAD to be real. I already believed it, but this was incredible. On Christmas Eve he knocked on our front door. Carried on the winds of the cold, night air was the aroma of the "stuff" my Pop and Dad would occasionally sip on. That was strange, I thought.

I digress. Despite the oddly dark sideburns, (in stark contrast with his long, white beard), he somehow knew what I so desperately wished for that Christmas - pink, fluffy slippers. When he pulled them from his gift bag, there was no denying he had an inside scoop only Santa could have. My eyes lit up more than our beloved Christmas tree.

Yes, Santa was real and here's a picture of the proof. ?

Post note: The following year was the year I learned not to play with matches. Sadly, one of the pink, fluffy slippers, (seen below), melted when I dropped a match on it. I watched in horror as it burst into flame and quickly went out! My pink, fluffy slipper lay charred on the bedroom floor. I learned my lesson. Don't play with matches, just like Smokey the Bear told me on countless occasions.

About me:  My name is Ellen DuBois, born and raised in Massachusetts. I love New England with its changes in seasons and natural beauty.

I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures. 

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Ellen

About me:  My name is Ellen DuBois, born and raised in Massachusetts. I love New England with its changes in seasons and natural beauty.

I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures. 

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 (Photo: A Hint Of Fall, Ellen M. DuBois)

Much like myself, my blog is changing. Every day brings with it new things, challenges, blessings. The seasons change, what we learn about Covid changes, what we learn about ourselves changes, too.

The picture above was taken on Monday, October 4th, in the morning. There are days I just grab my camera to see what I can find. Maybe I'll spot a beautiful or cute animal in the back yard. Maybe I'll spot a cardinal at the feeder. Perhaps I'll finally get a picture of the owl that's proven to be so elusive.

Regardless, I always find something in nature that captures my eye, even if it's not what I'm hoping to find.

That's change and life is full of it. There are times when the changes scare me and I don't know what to do with all the emotional "junk" inside of me. It's fear, really. Sometimes I call it anxiety or overload, but the root is fear and the remedy is God.

As I bounce all around in this post, I'm still very compelled to keep writing and press on. This morning I read this quote from scripture: "Indeed you are my lamp, O Lord, the Lord lightens my darkness."- 2 Samuel 22:29

Prior to reading it, I was asking God to remind me throughout the day that Jesus is always present. No matter what happens, I asked to be reminded that He's with me and I'm not alone. Jesus is the light to my darkness and if I can remember that, I'll fare much better. I have felt the strength God gives me in the darkest of times and I know it's not a "one and done" occurrence.

The lamp is always there to light the way. When my mind takes over, (or my ego), I just need to remember to ask Jesus to shine that lamp and everything will be okay. Fear will be relinquished. Anxiety will dissipate. Feeling like I'm alone will revert back to being an illusion. I'm not alone and neither is anyone else.

Circling back, I took the picture in this post on Monday and had no idea it would turn out as beautiful as it did. The leaves look like the tips have been dipped in God's magnificent shade of red. There is a hint of fall beginning to take place on a Divine canvas. I find great joy in that and it serves as a reminder that God's light comes through is many places. Trees, flowers, colors, sunrises, twilight, in ourselves and in each other.

May you be reminded by whatever speaks to your soul that you are never alone and the lamp is yours for the taking. All you have to do is ask.

About me:  My name is Ellen DuBois, born and raised in Massachusetts. I love New England with its changes in seasons and natural beauty.

I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures. 

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August 29, 2021

When will we learn war isn't the answer? When will we learn to turn to love? When will we see that hurting each other is only hurting ourselves?

If you cut your finger does it not hurt? That's what it's like when you kill each other- it's like cutting off an appendage. We are all one body living on this earth. When sickness overtakes us, we all suffer. When we are at war, we all suffer. When we abuse, neglect, mistreat, disrespect, belittle or harm each other in any way, we are harming ourselves.

Even with a pandemic raging, hurricanes tearing through the world, wildfires burning the very life from the planet and leaving behind charred remains as a reminder, we still fight. We still hate. We still live as if we are the only ones - and for what? This thing we call power? Those groups who take over countries for the benefit of power, which equates to land and money, are doing so at the human race's expense.  Groups who try to take control over others are very short-sighted and see only the power they think they will gain. Nothing is stronger that God, than Mother earth, than the collective human race as a whole. Yet, there are people, many of them, who don't see that . They only see what their illusion of power will bring to them. We are all meeting the same end one day. We are all going to die and cross over in the next world. It is there you will answer. So, all the fighting for material things, for land, money and everything it buys, is in vain. It is for temporary pleasure and not for true joy.

True joy only stems from love. The love of our Creator and the loving of each other, ourselves, the earth and the creatures upon it. True joy doesn't come from destruction and harm. Yet, there are those of us who always think it does. This falsehood is handed from one generation to another and spreads like a cancer. It destroys the human race and those who are blind to God and think they are the controllers of all are living in a world of complete deception and utter chaos, lacking love and respect for anything but themselves.

Wake up people! Don't you see what's going on around you? This is a time, a great time for reaching out and helping your fellow human beings! This is a time of great strife, of upheaval. This is a time when something much more powerful than you think you are is forcing you to look at yourselves, to examine your soul, to find deep down what you've buried underneath false happiness... and love each other. Find the love God planted inside each and every one of you and start helping each other amidst all the upheaval on the earth. Take care of yourselves and the planet. Save yourselves from your own wrath!

You are your worst enemy, yet so many of you are so short-sighted you don't see it. You kill over land with lines you put there as boundaries. We've been doing this since the beginning of time and it has never, ever ended well. It never will. If that, with everything that's taking place on this planet, is not enough to wake us up, what is? The end of it?

Take all you hold dear that's real, made of love, a gift from God, and treasure it. That is your real treasure. You find it in yourself, your loved ones, your fellow man. You find joy in the beauty of your soul, this earth, the animals upon it, the majestic, stunning landscapes, sunsets, the very miracle of life itself. What fills your heart with love is your soul, which is actually God inside of you. It is the light that shines on others and brightens this world. It is the light that enables you to care for each other. Love each other, pray for each other, hold out your hand in love, not battle, towards each other. Love is the answer, It always has been and it always will be. 

You are in a time of the greatest wake up call there has ever been. You've got a plague on the earth, you've got wars, fires, destructive acts of nature surrounding you. What more do you need to realize that fighting against yourselves instead of joining together and loving each other, and surviving, is the answer? What more has to happen to force you out of your egos and into the light and love of God? The choice is yours and it's quite clear that it's not an easy one to make for many people. They still choose to hate, to battle over something that will be there long after they are gone and never will be theirs because IT WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE!

WAKE UP! LOVE! STOP THE FIGHTING AND INSTEAD TURN TO LOVING AND FIGHTING TOGETHER WITH THE COMMON CAUSE OF SAVING EACH OTHER AND THIS PLANET. ASK YOURSELVES, WHAT MORE IS IT GOING TO TAKE TO REALIZE THAT YOU ARE ALL MUCH STRONGER WHEN YOU JOIN TOGETHER IN LOVE AND LIGHT THAN YOU ARE ALONE OR IN SELF PROCLAIMED SMALL GROUPS THAT USE DESTRUCTION TO GAIN WHAT YOU THINK IS POWER BUT IS NOT AND NEVER WILL BE?

PLEASE WAKE UP. PLEASE TURN TO GOD, TO LOVE, TO EACH OTHER AND SAVE YOURSELVES AND THIS PLANET FROM ITS END.

Pray for love. Turn to love. BELIEVE. BE LOVE.

(I may have typed this, but it was inspired by the Holy Spirit. I know it changes in point of view, but I left it alone. It may not be grammatically correct, but the message is what it is... and that's really all that matters.)

With Love and in Prayer,

Ellen M. DuBois

About me:  My name is Ellen DuBois, born and raised in Massachusetts. I love New England with its changes in seasons and natural beauty.

I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures. 

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About me:  My name is Ellen DuBois, born and raised in Massachusetts. I love New England with its changes in seasons and natural beauty.

I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures. 

Note: This post may contain affiliate links and I may be compensated a small commission at no cost to you if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.

Comments (0)     

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About me:  My name is Ellen DuBois, born and raised in Massachusetts. I love New England with its changes in seasons and natural beauty.

I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures. 

Note: This post may contain affiliate links and I may be compensated a small commission at no cost to you if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.

Comments (0)     

Some days I feel stuffed with information, news, emotion, sensory overload, cabin fever and whatever else you can think of. Much like this picture I took of "Chippy" feasting on birdseed, I feel like I'm stuffed to the point where I know I'd better move and change my perspective. (Even bought one of those mini, under the desk or stand up elipticals.)

The pandemic has taught me to stay away from too much news while not leaving my head buried in the sand. I want to know what's going on, but I don't want to overload myself. I've learned how important it is to find balance, even if it's just walking around the yard with Cooper, (my rescue pup), enjoying the feel of the sun and fresh air and taking some pictures.

I pray a lot. This life we're living can make me a little snappy and I don't like that. I know it doesn't solve anything and makes things worse. I ask God and the angels for help all the time and it really does help me control myself, (a/k/a not flipping out). Ask and you will receive. I've found it to be true.

Some days I feel stuffed with blessings and the more I practice counting them, the more good days I experience. At least they're more balanced.  I have the power to make it happen by shifting my mindset. When I find it's tough to do, I pray for help. I take some deep breaths. I know I can't do it alone.

Oh, yes. I'd rather feel stuffed with faith over fear.

Much like Chippy, who seems pretty happy with those seeds of joy he's filling his face with.

Stay safe and may you find the balance you need every, single day.

Ellen

I took this picture with my NikonD5200, 300 mm lense. I dream of getting a 600 mm lense someday. I'll be able to get in so close!

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I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures. 

Note: This post contains affiliate links and I may be compensated a small commission at no cost to you if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.

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Nikon D5200 Dslr Camera With 18-55mm Lens Kits | eBay

Nikon D D5200 24.1 MP Digital SLR Camera - Black (Body Only) | eBay

NEW Nikon D5200 Digital SLR 24.1 MP with 18-55mm & 55-200mm Lenses Bundle Black 18208134618 | eBay

I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures. 

Note: This post contains affiliate links and I may be compensated a small commission at no cost to you if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.

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I find great comfort in taking pictures. It's always relaxed me and I when I look through my camera, I focus on what's beautiful in this world. 

I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures. 

Note: This post may contain affiliate links and I may be compensated a small commission at no cost to you if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.

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During this pandemic, I've found I'm noticing more about the world around me. I've been living in a small bubble and quite frankly, venturing out of it makes me very uneasy. I've been teaching piano online to the best of my ability, but there are so many students I haven't seen since having to close my studio in March, (temporariliy).When I venture out to the grocery store, I try to shop as quickly as possible and am riddled with anxiety as I try to follow arrows and breathe through my mask. I shop at a hurried pace, making sure I'm socially distant from others. We're all living it and it's not easy...it's surreal.  I pray for the day when God wipes this virus from the face of the earth. Until then, I do the best I can, cling to my faith and try to create balance in my life. One way is by taking pictures.

I am calm while photographing the beauty and mystery of nature.



A feeling of serenity washes over me when I see something beautiful. Taking pictures is almost...no, IS a spirtual activity for me.  I marvel at the amazing things God has created. They are living, thriving, growing in spite of the havoc this pandemic has cast upon human kind.

I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures. 

Note: This post may contain affiliate links and I may be compensated a small commission at no cost to you if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.

photowhoa

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Poem I wrote on this day in 2011. I didn't remember writing it until I read it a couple of times. Showed up in my FB memories:

I stand in a dream.

The world is magic.

My heart beats

to the rhythm

of the ancients.

Weight upon my shoulders-

replaced by wings of fancy.

I am free

to fly.

I am free

to be me.

I am loved

for who I am.

You do not wish

to mold me.

You do not desire

to change me.

A feeling of acceptance,

I have only known in dreams,

with wings,

and rhythms,

and magic,

and...

You

Ellen M. DuBois 8-6-11

I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures. 

Note: This post may contain affiliate links and I may be compensated a small commission at no cost to you if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.

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Times have been tough, that's for sure. It's certainly an understatement. I won't get too much into that because we're all living it. We all know. Life is different and we are all trying to cope.

The other day I happened to be in the front yard with my camera, hoping get some pictures of the vast array of birds at the feeder. As of late, hummingbirds have been scarce so I don't have many new pictures. But on that day, I was blessed by God and not only captured a hummingbird at the feeder, (they are SO fast and tiny), but also got some pictures of a hummingbird on the powerlines to the house. Wow. I didn't think it was possible (or probable) to even see a tiny hummingbird on those lines. But, I did and was at just the right angle to get a few pictures in.



 

I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures. 

Note: This post contains affiliate links and I may be compensated a small commission at no cost to you if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.

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With so many of us at home, we find ourselves working on things indoors and out in the yard. I know I've been cleaning out closets, cleaning more in general and finding ways to make the space I live in more comfortable and serene. After all, I'm here more during these unprecendented times. I try to make the space around me as comfortable, healthy and relaxing as I can. 

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In the video above, I talk about my music studio and wonder how I'll make it safe for music lessons to resume there. 

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The video is above the blog or you can visit YouTube to watch it here: https://youtu.be/NFeanulYzTI

Took the Seahawk inflatable boat with a mounted motor out for its maiden voyage on the pond. We got this on Amazon. (There are a few "cuss words" not real bad, in this video. Just a heads up!) We also got the motor on Amazon- a Minn Kota, 55 lbs of thrust. I've included the link to the Seahawk at the bottom of this paragraph. As you'll see, we got through some pretty thick lilypads with no problem! This Intex Seahawk 2 Inflatable Boat Set + Oars/Pump/Motor Mount is a great way to have some fun during the pandemic and beyond. It felt great just to get out there on the water for a little while and laugh! I'm an affiliate, so if you make a purchase from this link, I'll receive a small commission at no cost to you! Thanks! https://amzn.to/37rOENB

About me:  My name is Ellen DuBois, born and raised in Massachusetts. I love New England with its changes in seasons and natural beauty.

I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures. 

Note: This post may contain affiliate links and I may be compensated a small commission at no cost to you if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.

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This thought came to me this morning, foggy eyed from a restless night. I picked up the energy of the chaos and knew it wasn't going to serve God, me or others in any way. What will help everyone on this planet is love. It's the one thing that can put out the flames of hate. Within each of us is God and God is love. I choose love.

Love Lifts. Hate Hurts. Choose Love.

About me:  My name is Ellen DuBois, born and raised in Massachusetts. I love New England with its changes in seasons and natural beauty.

I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures. 

Note: This post may contain affiliate links and I may be compensated a small commission at no cost to you if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.

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We have a Fox who comes to the door almost daily, a squirrel who raids the bird feeder and some beautiful birds. This is mostly of the fox (SLY) and the squirrel (Harry). Harry's got some pretty bad wipe outs in his attempt to get to the bird feeder!

Meet Sly the Fox and Harry the Squirrel. Harry's got some pretty good wipe outs in his attempts to get the bird feeder. Sly comes around looking for food...so Harry better steer clear of him! There's a beautiful cardinal included in here and a little, red squirrel. Let's call him Red.

While taking pictures is something I love to do, these clips from our door cam are fun, interesting and a great distraction for everyone during these times. I enjoyed putting together these clips and will do more in the future. You never know what you're going to see!

Thanks for visiting and I hope you enjoy.

Stay safe and be well. Ellen

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