Ellen DuBois Blog. Writing and Photography

If I had a Wish This Christmas #griefsupport #miscarriagesupport #griefpoem

by Ellen DuBois on 12/10/18

If I had a wish

I knew would come true-

I'd ask to visit Heaven

so I could see you.

You're loved beyond measure,

you're missed

so many ways.

I send you my love

this Christmas-

and every day.

- Ellen M. DuBois

#griefsupport #miscarriagesupport #griefpoem #missyouatChristmas

Hi. My name is Ellen DuBois. I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures.

Disclosure: I'm an affiliate so I have to let you know if you click on a link and purchase something from my site, I get a small commission at no cost to you.

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Bad Book Reviews Are One Thing. Malicious Ones are Another. #standupforyourself

by Ellen DuBois on 12/07/18

This is what I wrote today in response to a pretty malicious review about my first book Jackie's Heart, (2003, republished in 2012). I know. What took you so long, Ellen? Or, you may be wondering, Why'd you even bother? I understand both perspectives. I mean, the review was posted in 2012.

Here's what I (finally) posted on Amazon in response to the review:

"While I understand you didn't like my book, (that's putting it mildly), was it really necessary to advise people to: 'Save your self and your time and run from this thing called a book'? While I certainly understand that not all books are enjoyed by everyone, I find being inappropriately mean to be highly unnecessary. It's taken me years to post something about your review, (of my very first book), but I finally decided to say something. It's not because I can't handle a bad review, but a malicious one is simply not tolerable."

Back in 2003 when I wrote and published Jackie's Heart, I was under a 7 year contract with Publish America. (Ouch!) Remember, this was back in 2003. A couple of years after my contract ended, I moved my book to Createspace as an ebook.

I digress. Back then, it felt great to finish my book. To take something from start to completion was, (and still is), a big deal. Additionally, I learned a few things, (emphasis on the word few), about the (then) very new world of online publishing. I'm still learning as that world continues to evolve.

Being an author, I had to develop a thick skin. Almost my entire life, whether through writing, singing, playing the piano, teaching piano or even making jewelry, I've put myself "out there" and subsequently, open for critisism. It's all part of it- part of me.

However, the one review that got under my skin and lived there for years, has been responded to...by me.

Why?

I realized that the one star review was not simply a "bad review" but a malicious one. I can handle bad reviews. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. But when a review gets nasty and malicious, I believe the line has been crossed.

I don't think my response is going to make a difference to anyone but me, and that's okay. I feel free, empowered even, because I opened my mouth and responded. Finally the words are off my chest! I can LET IT GO.

I still agree that this person had every right to dislike my book and post a review saying so. To me, he or she crossed the line between writing a bad review and a malicious one, i.e. Zero Star, Yuck!!!, Run!, Save yourself and your time and run from this thing called a book. (I think you get the picture.)

I've always stood up for people who have experienced an injustice.

That includes me.

Have a blessed day and thanks for visiting!

Ellen

#standupforyourself

Hi. My name is Ellen DuBois. I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures.

Disclosure: I'm an affiliate so I have to let you know if you click on a link and purchase something from my site, I get a small commission at no cost to you.

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#imwithrudolph

by Ellen DuBois on 12/05/18

I can only speak for myself and I'm going to!

#rudolphtherednosereindeer was a special part of my childhood. I, along with millions of other kids, (I know I said I was only speaking for myself), looked forward to watching Rudolph save the day with GREAT anticipation. Not ONCE did I feel Santa was a bully for not recognizing Rudolph's red nose and how it could help "soon enough". That was part of the story- the very reason I thought, "Come on Santa! Rudolph IS your answer! He'll get your sleigh through the foggy night!" It's called a PLOT and if Santa realized right away that Rudolph's nose was the answer, we'd have a twenty-second story! I never thought becoming a dentist was a bad thing. I admired Hermey the Elf for sticking to his guns and daring to be different. Not once did I feel the little guy was "creepy" or was "dentist shaming". I didn't even know what "shaming" was! I always felt sad for the misfit toys and was DELIGHTED when they were celebrated for their differences, rescued and went on to live happy lives. Many people are coming to this show's defense, and it does my heart good. Many are tearing it apart and I find it to be a sad reflection of where society is and is heading. Must we overthink, overanalyze and overdramatize everything? Does society have to dig, find and over exploit perceived messages of ill will in everything instead of good will? Maybe THAT'S part of the problem. I wish all the energy spent analyzing and tearing apart Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, (a children's TV show), was spent on things like, oh, I don't know, feeding the hungry? Maybe giving of your time to help those in need?

Rant over. Almost. Please look at some of the new shows on TV kids are watching and at the video games kids are playing TODAY. Many are violent, combative and sexy. THAT'S okay? That's what our culture is "accepting"? I'm with Rudolph. Yeah, #imwithrudolph

Hi. My name is Ellen DuBois. I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures.

I'm an affiliate so I have to let you know if you click on a link and purchase something from my site, I get a small commission at no cost to you.

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Streets, Houses, Ocean, Horizon

by Ellen DuBois on 11/27/18

I've always been fascinated by how the world looks when I'm flying. My fiance's been a pilot for many years and when I first started flying with him, I was a nervous wreck! I quikly found a way to reduce my anxiety: Taking pictures.

Most of our flights were pretty short. Still, when you suffer from anxiety, even a ten minute flight can set you into a panic. Although I'm much better when flying now, for years it was an effort to keep it together.

Taking pictures while flying quickly turned into something I looked forward to. I saw the world and all its beauty from a completely different vantage point. Houses, streets, buildings, cars, people- all looked so small. The land so clearly divided by colors, textures, roads- like a patchwork quilt. At night, both the earth and sky glisten with lights. It's amazing.

I took this picture on a short flight to Martha's Vineyard (I think) and I love how the streets, houses, ocean and horizon look. I used my NikonD5200.

Thanks for stopping by! If you want to see more of my photos, please follow me on Instagram at photosbyellendubois

https://www.instagram.com/photosbyellendubois/

I'm Ellen DuBois, I'm an affiliate so I have to let you know if you click on a link and purchase something from my site, I get a small commission at no cost to you. I'm also the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures.

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See how NYC glows at night with TopView's Night Tour

by Ellen DuBois on 11/21/18

I have never been to New York City. Well, I was there once, but it was such a brief trip that I never got to see the sights.

I'd love to tour the city. It's so rich in history, culture and diversity. And the lights!

I know I'd have my camera with me, ready to capture my very own images of The Big Apple. I imagine how amazing it would look and feel at night, too. There's a tour I found below and I'd love to go on it one day. Maybe I'll make it a goal for 2019. Sounds good to me! The tour is offered by a company called TopView and it sounds AMAZING!

See how NYC glows at night with TopView's Night Tour, which takes you from Times Square all the way to Brooklyn.

Thank you for reading my blog and visiting. YOU are appreciated!

I'm Ellen DuBois, I'm an affiliate so I have to let you know if you click on a link and purchase something from my site, I get a small commission at no cost to you. I'm also the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures.

Have a great, inspired day.

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Buildings of Boston (From a car)

by Ellen DuBois on 11/19/18

I took these pictures a couple of years ago and am glad I found them. Love the buildings of Boston. These were taken from the car as we drove by the wonderful, historical mix of the buildings of Boston.

This is installment one of this post. More to come.

Thanks for stopping by!

Thank you for reading my blog and visiting. YOU are appreciated!

I'm Ellen DuBois, author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures.

Have a great, inspired day.

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Beautifully Messy - November's First Snow

by Ellen DuBois on 11/16/18

By the time I took these pictures, the snow had turned to rain. (Isn't the a line from a song?) My boots sunk into a slushy, slippery mix while walking around my yard. I hoped to keep my footing while capturing a few images of November's first snow. I'm happy to report I did.

I caught a few images of what the morning rain topping of the night's snowfall looked like.

Beautifully messy.

Thank you for reading my blog and visiting. YOU are appreciated!

I'm Ellen DuBois, author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures.

Have a great, inspired day.

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Taking Pictures From the Air

by Ellen DuBois on 11/03/18

When I first started flying with my fiance, (over 23 years ago). I was nervous. I was barely okay on a short flight and felt like kissing the ground after landing safely.

Over time, I found that bringing my camera helped. I'd focus on the beauty around me. The earth took on an entirely different look from above. The land, separated by lines and shapes of brilliant colors, roads, farms, mountains, water and more, is so incredible when you're up in the air! Taking pictures while flying took my mind off my anxiety because I focused on the amazing views and the pictures I took. Flying went from frightening to exciting.

The picture above is from a short flight we took from the Taunton Municipal Airport to Plymouth, MA. It's less than a 10 minute flight and the views are nothing short of amazing.

I love my Nikon D5200 24.1 MP CMOS Digital SLR Camera Body Only (Black) camera. (I included this link so you can check it out. There are newer models, but this is the one I have.)

PS: I am an affiliate which means if you decide to click on a link and purchase something, I get a small commission at no cost to you.

Thank you for reading my blog and visiting. YOU are appreciated!

I'm Ellen DuBois, author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures.

Have a great, inspired day.

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Seeing God Through My Camera Lens

by Ellen DuBois on 10/25/18

I love to take pictures, especially of nature. If I'm out driving and I forget my camera, it's inevitable I'll see something "magical" and wish I had it. However, cell phones are a quick fix if there's something I just have to take a picture of.

But, I love my Nikon D5200 24.1 MP CMOS Digital SLR Camera Body Only (Black) camera. (I put a link in there so you can check it out. There are newer models, but this is the one I have.)

There's something about changing lenses, lining up a shot, holding my camera that I love.

Nature is my inspiration and to me, nature comes from God. So, I see God in everything I take a picture of. It can be a tiny insect or flower to a majestic mountain or sunset.

Taking pictures calms me. My focus is drawn to whatever the subject matter is. The rest of the world fades away as I try to get the best picture possible. Sometimes, (especially with birds), I miss the moment. However, that's part of the challenge and I find the entire experience relaxing and quite spiritual.

Taking pictures can be spiritual? Well, for me it is. Like I said, I tend to see God in everything, so when I'm focusing on a flower, sunset, the pond in my back yard, my dog, birds, a leaf, (you get the idea), I feel closer to God and experience a deep appreciation for His, (or Her), creations.

I don't need to be a professional photographer to enjoy it. I'm not. Most of us aren't . I simply take joy and find calm in seeing God through my camera lens.

Nikon D5200 : From Snapshots to Great Shots

Thank you for reading my blog and visiting. YOU are appreciated!

I'm Ellen DuBois, author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures.

Have a great, inspired day.

PS: I am an affiliate which means if you decided to click on a link and purchase something, I get a small commission at no cost to you.

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Acknowledgments and a Note from Ellen #miscarriage #miscarriagesupport #PAILRD

by Ellen DuBois on 10/23/18

Because it's October, Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month, I want to share parts of my book, I Never Held You, with you. It's a bittersweet month. We feel the sadness of losing our babies and the support of other across the globe. Although nothing can take away the pain, whether it's new or something you've lived with for a while, knowing there are others who have lived the same helps. I believe we draw strength from each other and thank God for it.

Here is an excerpt from my book and it's from my heart to yours. I am so sorry for your loss and I feel your pain. Love and Prayers to you, Ellen, Host of MiscarriageHelp.com and author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery

Acknowledgments and a Note from Ellen

A special thank you to Dr. Linda Backman, who believed in me and this book enough to pour her heart and soul into it, often during a very busy schedule. My heartfelt thanks to Anna Pizzoferrato, who not only shares her expertise as a Reiki Master (in Part Two), but her painful recollection of living through not one, but five miscarriages. To Marnie Pehrson, published author and owner of SheLovesGod.com, for opening her heart and sharing her story and faith. To Mary Foster, my wonderful friend and confidant, whose story of miscarriage shows the devastating impact a complete lack of support after miscarriage causes. Having all suffered at least one miscarriage, we connected in a way that only women who have endured such a loss, ever could. A special thank you to my publisher, Sidney, who not only believed in this book when she published it as a small ebook over five years ago, but carried her belief in I Never Held You's message of hope and healing, catapulting it into the book you're reading now. She understood my vision of helping women worldwide who have suffered the pain and isolation of miscarriage, and has been the springboard to the next level.

I began this book as a way of reaching out to those who miscarried and didn't know where to turn or what to do with their feelings. Why? Because I was at a total loss when I miscarried and couldn't find anything that spoke directly to me and my loss. I needed something to make me say, "I feel exactly the same way. Finally, someone understands and can help. I am not alone." I wanted to provide, through this book, a means of connection between us. I believe that through connection comes the beginning of healing. Isolation only serves to make a person feel worse and less understood.

My journey first led me to Dr. Linda Backman. She is a licensed psychologist and specializes in grief counseling. What began as a collaborative writing project, soon turned into a deeper healing experience for myself. Through Linda's words and expertise, she showed me that life is a continual process of change, growth, and acceptance of yourself-no matter what point you're at in your life. I cannot thank Linda enough, and I know her words will leave an indelible mark within you.

As one who doesn't believe in coincidence, I know my journey 'led' me to Anna and Marnie, too. Their stories, combined with what went on to be lives that would heal and help many, needed to be told. In finding them, I discovered something about myself, perhaps all of us. Quite often, living through pain prepares us for something better down the road, although we can't see it during our experience. I didn't. I'd be willing to say the other women mentioned didn't. I've learned that within all of us lies an amazing ability to get through the adversities in life, and an ever-growing capacity to experience the joys as we heal and continue on our individual paths-wherever they may lead us. I speak to you as a woman who has lived what you have lived. I want you to feel like you're listening to a friend who not only knows of, but feels the pain and confusion in your heart and mind, and doesn't dismiss it.

Dr. Backman speaks to you not only as a professional, offering sound words of encouragement and advice, but also as woman who has lived what you have lived.

It is my sincerest hope that you, the woman who has miscarried, will somehow be led to this book. My wish is for the words on these pages to reach into your heart and soul, making you feel far less alone and far more understood. Most importantly, my greatest desire is of hope and healing for you.

There is life after miscarriage-a quality life-and Dr. Backman and I want to hold your hand and help lead you down the road to recovery. There is no greater step than that of the first.

The best to you on your journey, Ellen

Thank you for reading my blog and visiting. YOU are appreciated!

I'm Ellen DuBois, author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Jackie's Heart. Since 2006 I've been hosting MiscarriageHelp.com, a support site for women and their families who have miscarried.

I'm published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (a Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns.

I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond. Music is another passion of mine and I'm blessed to share the gift of music. I'm also a shudder bug like my mother was. I love taking pictures.

Have a great, inspired day.

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