What If, What Could Have Been, What Was. : Thoughtwaves
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Welcome to my author page and blog, Thoughtwaves.

My name is Ellen DuBois, and I've been writing since I can remember. I began writing poetry as a child and as I got older, my poems grew with me. Whenever I had to sort out my feelings, I turned to writing because my thoughts became clearer. I still turn to writing. It's been a constant, faithful companion.

Turning adversity into something positive has been a theme in my writing. From poetry and lyrics to short articles and essays, I seem to gravitate to issues of the heart and my faith in God, Jesus, the angels- spirituality.

Eleven years after a devestating miscarriage, I wrote a short ebook about my experiences and emotions. Several years later, I wrote more about coping with miscarriage and I Never Held You was published as a paperback by a small, traditional publisher. A few years later, in 2009, I republished my book with Createspace. I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery

My works have appeared in books ranging from anxiety attacks to inspirational collections of poetry and stories. I've also been lucky enough to be published by Blue Mountain Arts. I feel blessed to have been included in these books/greeting cards and plan on "pushing forward".

Please visit my author page, Ellen M. DuBois, on Amazon.com by clicking here.

Be well and God Bless, Ellen

What If, What Could Have Been, What Was.

by Ellen DuBois on 12/17/16

Some of you may be struggling right now. I want you to know I'm thinking of you and you're not alone. While this time of year can be so joyful, it can also be equally painful as we reflect on "what if", "what could have been" and "what was". I've been there and believe me, I'm still there sometimes. I remember, so clearly, all the times I wondered, "What would this Christmas be like if my baby were here?" It hurt so much. I cried so much and I tried so much. Over time, it got easier. As I grew into painfully accepting life without my baby in it, I was able to experience more joy. I never forgot my little one and never will. But, the joys I began to feel again helped balance the scales. I was able to live in the moment more, instead of in the world of "what if", "what could have been" and "what was". I'll never forget how tough it was and even today, twenty something years later, I think of my sweet, little one in heaven and I miss him. There are other losses that cut very deep, too. Christmas without my mother is not the same and the pain is still very raw - that same raw pain you feel after you lose anyone you love. So, try to go easy on yourself. Know that you'll heal over time, in your own way and at your own pace. You will probably feel a wide spectrum of emotions and that is okay. There's no right or wrong. You feel what you do and I pray you find the comfort, support and strength you need. I'll be thinking of all of you this Christmas and holiday season and holding you close to my heart. Love and light to you,


Ellen DuBois: I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Host of MiscarriageHelp.com. I've also been published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns. Additionally, I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond-
I love it!

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Ellen DuBois is the host of Host of MiscarriageHelp.com, Creator of Hope Angel Bracelets and Piano teacher/Proprietor at Rhapsody Music Lessons in Easton, Massachusetts.

This is a wonderful CD. It is by Al and Marlane DuBois, (my parents). If you love piano music, both original pieces and those you already know and love, you will enjoy "It's About Piano, It's About Time! . Listen to the samples. This makes a great gift for anyone who loves quality, beautiful piano music. Perfect for adding ambiance to dinner parties and more. Some of the pieces are perfect for meditation, too.

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