What If, What Could Have Been, What Was.by Ellen DuBois on 12/17/16
Some of you may be struggling right now. I want you to know I'm thinking of you and you're not alone. While this time of year can be so joyful, it can also be equally painful as we reflect on "what if", "what could have been" and "what was". I've been there and believe me, I'm still there sometimes. I remember, so clearly, all the times I wondered, "What would this Christmas be like if my baby were here?" It hurt so much. I cried so much and I tried so much. Over time, it got easier. As I grew into painfully accepting life without my baby in it, I was able to experience more joy. I never forgot my little one and never will. But, the joys I began to feel again helped balance the scales. I was able to live in the moment more, instead of in the world of "what if", "what could have been" and "what was". I'll never forget how tough it was and even today, twenty something years later, I think of my sweet, little one in heaven and I miss him. There are other losses that cut very deep, too. Christmas without my mother is not the same and the pain is still very raw - that same raw pain you feel after you lose anyone you love. So, try to go easy on yourself. Know that you'll heal over time, in your own way and at your own pace. You will probably feel a wide spectrum of emotions and that is okay. There's no right or wrong. You feel what you do and I pray you find the comfort, support and strength you need. I'll be thinking of all of you this Christmas and holiday season and holding you close to my heart. Love and light to you,
Ellen DuBois: I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Host of MiscarriageHelp.com. I've also been published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns. Additionally, I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond-
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