The Positive Light, Ellen M. DuBois

The Positive Light, Ellen M. DuBois

Easter Lilies In August

by Ellen DuBois on 08/22/16





My father donated these lilies at church in my mother's name on Easter Sunday. It's the same church my mother was music director at for over 25 years and he's carried the torch for her since she passed away. A month or so ago, the plant wasn't looking so good. I couldn't bring myself to throw it out. So, I decided to plant it. I now have Easter lilies in August. The first one decided to open today, National Angel Day. I love you, Mom

Ellen DuBois: I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Host of MiscarriageHelp.com. I've also been published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns. Additionally, I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond-
I love it!

National Angel Day! Finding an angel doll on a clothing donation dumpster gave me hope when I needed it most.

by Ellen DuBois on 08/22/16

Inspiration for Story: Finding an angel doll on a clothing donation dumpster gave me hope when I needed it most.



When both my grandmother and my fiance's mother were in the hospital, I spent the days going from one rehab to another. I was operating on very little sleep and Christmas was approaching. While out doing errands, I had a bag of clothes to drop off in a donation bin. As I pulled into the parking lot, my eyes were filled with tears. I didn't know how much more I could take. I broke down and asked God for help. I asked the angels to give me the strength I needed. I didn't want to lose my Nana or my fiance's mother. I had loads to do before Christmas and I was spent. As I lugged the heavy bag of clothes from my trunk and carried it to the dumpster, I noticed something on top of the handle. It was the cutest stuffed angel doll--made with patchwork wings, a smiling face, yarn hair and a dress. I couldn't believe it. Who would leave such an adorable angel on a dumpster? Why? I gently took her from the handle, opened the bin and donated my clothes. After getting into my warm car, I placed the angel doll on the passenger seat. Then, it hit me. I got my sign from the angels. I felt a warmth inside and smiled as I felt the love and support I needed. The angels carried me through, and I still have the doll they left for me to find. I'll never let her go. That day led to this story being published in a book, (a longer version), to starting Hope Angel Bracelets several years later, and to a constant feeling of love and support from the angels.




Story published on Fire Mountain Gems.


Thanks for visiting Hope Angel Bracelets! Please scroll down this page to see more of my bracelets, (click on any one and it will take you directly to my shop on Etsy!) See something you like? Have a custom order you want to talk about? Stop by Hope Angel Bracelets on Etsy and have a look at ALL the different styles, colors, sizes, designs and charms waiting for you! Click here.


Ellen DuBois: I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Host of MiscarriageHelp.com. I've also been published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns. Additionally, I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond-
I love it!

Just the Moon, God and Me

by Ellen DuBois on 08/19/16



 

I couldn't sleep Thursday night. I don't know why I felt restless. It could have been the thoughts having a party in my head.

Anyway, I was up and it was late.

On the couch with the dog between my fiance and me, I thought going to bed made sense. It was almost 2 a.m. Waking Cooper, (my dog), from his wonderfully deep slumber, he followed me with groggy steps to go out and pee.

The light the moon cast upon the stone driveway was amazing. There was hardly a need to turn on the outside lights. While Cooper finished up his "business", I felt compelled to run upstairs and grab my camera.

I brought Cooper in and that's exactly what I did.

Remembering to turn off the bright lights when I went out for the second time, I hoped to capture at least one clear shot of the moon. The air was heavy with humidity. It felt tropical. Bullfrogs croaking to their own rhythm was all I heard. The air was extremely still. There were no signs of deer walking the wooded path to my right. Maybe the deer aren't up this late, I thought. The crickets must have been asleep, too. There was nothing except the moon, God and me.

I ventured to the end of the long, semi-circle stone driveway. Because of the towering pines, the light of the moon was blocked just enough to make things a bit scary.

God, please protect me, I silently prayed, just in case there was anything or anyone out there...

After clearing the towering pines, I stood in the bright light of the moon. It cut through the August haze and I took it all in. Bathed in moonlight, I pointed my camera, tried to keep steady, and took a few pictures.

I made my way back to the house feeling cleansed by the moonlight and grateful to have gotten a few pictures.

Spending time with the moon, God and myself was worth staying up for. Maybe that's why I couldn't sleep. I wasn't supposed to.


Ellen DuBois: I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Host of MiscarriageHelp.com. I've also been published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns. Additionally, I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond-
I love it!

Small Joys In A Big World

by Ellen DuBois on 08/02/16



In all of our lives, we go through times filled with calm and times filled with strife. Sometimes, we feel things are going our way. We breeze through the day with a smile on our face and a spring in our step.

Then, there are times we feel overwhelmed, buried in despair. We wonder when we'll feel like "our old self" again? It can be a scary place. I've been there. We all have.

What I've learned is by appreciating the small joys each day has to offer, I am better carried through the hard times and appreciate the good times more. By taking note of and alllowing myself to be permeated by the beauty of life, I am better able to cope when times get rough. In being aware of the often unseen joys each day hands to me, I've become a more aware person. This awareness has made me into a happier, more grateful person. I believe this has become the foundation I've placed my feet on and in doing so, I'm better able to keep standing when life throws me an unexpected curve ball.

And it does. Doesn't it?

Small joys in a big world = something much larger.

There's more I could easily add to this list, but for the sake of brevity, here are ten of my small joys in a big world:

1. Faith.  Each morning I get up and thank God for the day. It's become more than a "routine". It's part of who I am. It's the fuel that starts my day.

2. Seeing Beauty. Not only seeing, but taking in the beauty nature offers. I allow whatever I'm seeing to reach inside of me. I can't help but smile and feel a calmness sweep through me. This small joy helps.

3. Smile. Smiling at people...just because. Why not? I feel better when I smile at someone and even if they don't smile back, I stay true to myself. Who knows? Maybe I made a positive difference in someone's day.

4. Acts of Kindness. Holding the door. It feels great when someone holds the door for me. I love how I feel when I hold the door for someone else. Yes, it sounds small. But, it's not. Any random act of kindness is good for all.

5. Gratitude. Thanking God for everything as I go throughout my day. Was I spared an accident by the car that just cut me off? Thank you, God. Did the flowers I've been watering suddenly start thriving? Thank you, God. Did I just see a gorgeous, vibrant sunset? Thank you, God. I think you get the picture. It works for me.

6. Counting Blessings. Finding a "lucky penny" and not being afraid to pick it up. I don't care what it looks like to others if I stoop down to pick up a penny! I'm not doing any harm to anyone. I look at a "lucky penny" as a blessing. Hey, it was there and I saw it. (Awareness) Why not pick it up and count my blessings? It's not so much the penny. It's about finding a small joy in a big world and being thankful for it.

7. Love and be Loved.  Loving andfFeeling the love for my family and friends, allowing it to fill my heart and being thankful for it. God knows, we're not on this earth forever. After my mother passed away a year and a half ago, that message was driven home with great force. For a while, I felt like I couldn't breathe. But, I did keep breathing. So did my father, my sisters and those who were touched by my mother's life. I treasure any time spent with my entire family: my father, sisters, nieces, nephews, my fiance, my friends, my dog, (yes, my dog!)- with everyone.

8. Our Connection.  I believe there's a cord that connects me to God, to the angels, to my mother in Heaven, (the other side), and to everyone and everything on this planet. It's just how I roll and I'm thankful for it. In being aware of that cord, I am more aware of others and our global conscio-US-ness.

9. Appreciation.  Appreciating anthing that makes me laugh, smile or feel good in general. When my dog does something silly, gives me a look, wants to play or snuggles up beside me, I am grateful. My heart fills with happiness. It does me good. When one of my piano students makes me smile, makes me a card, has a great lesson, I am grateful for the entire experience. When my best friend makes me see things more clearly or we share a laugh, I know I'm blessed. If my guy says or does something unexpectedly sweet, I am appreciative and feel appreciated. Oh, there's more. There are things in every day life that make me sad. Appreciating the good lifts me up.

10. Prayer. Thanking God every night for the day, praying for blessings for everyone, asking that those who are hungry, cold, hurting in any way are helped and telling my mother, as I do a thousand times a day, I love her- is what I do when I go to bed. I pray in my own way. It's all good. I think prayer is as individual as we are, yet it connects us.

Being thankful, being aware of the small joys in a big world, helps keep the scales balanced and simply makes me a happier person.

So, I guess the small joys in a big world add up to something much larger to me. They build a solid foundation I stand upon when the world often feels like my feet are on shifting sand.


Ellen DuBois: I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Host of MiscarriageHelp.com. I've also been published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns. Additionally, I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond-
I love it!

A Short Tale of Two Hummingbirds

by Ellen DuBois on 07/20/16



I now have two little hummingbirds visiting me. The first, who I named "Little Friend", is beautiful and has much less color than my new guest, "Little Red". I thought there'd be trouble when I saw Little Friend dive bomb Little Red out of the air and away from the feeder- right in front of me! You could hear the "thud" and I was shocked! I prayed neither one was hurt. However, they now seem to coexist, each taking separate turns at the feeder. Hopefully, they will make amends and both enjoy a sweet drink at the same time. My BFF told me the one with the vibrant, red color around his neck is the male. Love them both and they make me smile.

Ellen DuBois: I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Host of MiscarriageHelp.com. I've also been published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns. Additionally, I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond-
I love it!

Rant: I think that there are millions and millions of us who get along.

by Ellen DuBois on 07/17/16



"I never thought of myself or the people I interact with on a daily basis, whether they're people I'm meeting for the first time or whether they're people I know- if our skin colors are different, it's not anything I'm consciously aware of.

I guess I'm aware of it right now, as I sit here talking to you, because of everything that is being literally, jammed down my throat on the news.

I know there are some awful, tragic stories that do need to be told. But, I'm here to tell you that every day there are positive, wonderful, perfectly natural, great stories to be told- that need to be told, that need to be shared because if people don't start sharing the good things, (and you might not have even thought of them as being particularly good, because they're normal to you, right)... Like myself, this whole day today, so far, in terms of interacting with all different people - seeing right beyond skin color. It's another human being we're talking about here. They're looking at me as another human being- at least that's what's reflected in their actions towards me and in their attitude towards me and mine towards them.

If we don't start talking about this part of the world, of society, this acceptance that so many of us have, we're going to lose perspective.

You know, a few years ago, I wouldn't have thought to sit here in my car after leaving Macy's and even talk about this. It wouldn't have entered my mind because I didn't feel like it had to. It was not part of my consciousness- it didn't need to be.

Now, all of a sudden I'm sitting here and it's part of my narrative. This observation I made about, "Wow. I'm not having any struggles or difficulties and I feel terrible for the people who are but...

I think that there are millions and millions of us who get along. We do. We're different. We have different skin colors, different beliefs and diverse cultures and everything...but we get along and we always have.

So, I'm here to represent those of you, who like me, who weren't looking at people and going "Oh, wow...that person's black or I'm white or they're Asian or they're Indian or...whatever. You were just going along living your life and it didn't enter your mind because you accept everybody for who they are no matter what their color and they accept you.

And I just feel the need to say it's still happening in the United States of America. There are still millions of us who drive to the mall or wherever we're going and don't even give a thought to color. We all get along. We all go home, continue on with our day. We wake up the next day-  and do it all over again.

So, I guess that's my rant. Thanks for listening. God Bless America."


Ellen DuBois: I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Host of MiscarriageHelp.com. I've also been published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns. Additionally, I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond-
I love it!

Pets. The Best "Anti-Stress" Medicine Going

by Ellen DuBois on 07/15/16

(This is a repost.)



"The best anti-stress, anti-anxiety-make-you-smile-medicine...ever."- Ellen & Cooper the Rescue Dog.



Ellen DuBois: I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Host of MiscarriageHelp.com. I've also been published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns. Additionally, I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond-
I love it!

Welcome to The Positive Light

by Ellen DuBois on 07/11/16



I have this saying right above my computer. It helps!



 

Hello and welcome to The Positive Light!

Well, it's time for a blog overhaul and this is it.

I was talking to my friend today and we discussed how scary and overwhelming the news is. It's become easy to fall victim to the negativity, (a word you won't find me using much here), because we're surrounded by it.

After we hung up, I started thinking. I've always wanted to create a paper filled with good news, i.e., inspiring human interest stories, blurbs that make you smile, an amazing tale about a pet, (pardone the pun), and so much more! We are surround by good news and people, places and things that are wonderful.

Trouble is, we don't hear enough about them- especially now. And you know what? Now's when we need it most.

So, along with my blog getting a new name and feel, I also created an online newspaper called, you guessed it, The Positive Light. Here's my note from the editor, (yours truly):

"We are barraged with negative headlines via the Internet, TV, newpapers, radio and just about any other medium you can think of. There is so much good in the world! Yes, there is great news, inspiring stories and ordinary people doing extraordinary things all around us. You may be shaking your head in disagreement. Maybe you want to believe me but are struggling with it. That's because we're all surrounded by what the media brings to light- and The Positive Light is one small way to change what you read, see and subsequently feel for the better. I hope you enjoy reading The Positive Light. I invite you to allow it to balance out the scales of what you see, hear, read and feel- maybe even restore some of your faith in humanity. We're worth it. - Ellen M. DuBois"

Sound good? If it does, I invite you to subscribe (for free) to The Positive Light.

Let's spread some positive vibes and create some balance!

Peace, and thanks for stopping by- Ellen

Oh, and remember, "Some days there won't be a song in your heart. Sing anyway."

Click here to subscribe to The Positive Light

Ellen DuBois: I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Host of MiscarriageHelp.com. I've also been published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns. Additionally, I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond-
I love it!

Explore Your DNA Today

by Ellen DuBois on 07/10/16



Over one million people are experiencing their genetics with 23andMe. Now it's your turn. Get a DNA kit today.

I've seen the TV commercials for 23andme and have to admit, they've got me curious about my DNA.

Wouldn't it be fun to know your ancestry? Imagine the things you'd discover about yourself! Wouldn't it be helpful to find out if you're a carrier of a specific genetic condition- especially if you're thinking about starting a family? The wellness reports help you make more informed decisions about your diet and exercise while the traits reports give you a better understanding of what makes you...YOU! Explore what makes you unique- from what foods you like to your physical features.

It's pretty exciting. If finding out what your DNA says about you, click on the link below:

Get detailed DNA reports for insights into your health, traits and ancestry. Understand your genetics. Explore your DNA today at 23andMe.com.

Closure or "Necessary Acceptance"?

by Ellen DuBois on 07/03/16



My father and I were taking last week and he told me about a radio show he listened to on WBUR, (out of Boston). He didn't remember the guest doctor's name, but I believe she was a doctor and grief counselor. (I couldn't find the show on BUR to listen to it myself, but I'd like to.)

Given that my father lost his wife and best friend of 54 years about a year and a half ago, I'm sure the show resonated with him. He said as much. It would have with me, too. My father's wife and best friend was also my mother and quite honestly, I'm still adjusting to a world where the sand feels like it's constantly shifting beneath my feet.

I felt the very same way after I miscarried and it lasted for years.

A few minutes into our conversation he brought up what he thought was a very interesting point the doctor made. It was about closure and how it was a word she (the doctor/guest) wished she could strike from the dictionary.

At first, I was a little surprised. Not shocked, but surprised.

Many of the women who make comments or write to me on miscarriagehelp.com long for closure. I felt the same way after my miscarriage.

After listening to my father expound on what he derived from the show, I thought about it some more.

I'm still thinking about it. Everything I've ever thought about closure and how it applies to grief has been rocked, if you will.

So many of us look for closure. It's something we feel will help us as we grieve. The thing is, is there really any closure when you lose someone you love?

Could we be chasing an elusive butterfly?

I thought closure was so important after I miscarried because I didn't have any. I've also said to many of my visitors at miscarriagehelp.com: If you knew why you miscarried, would you feel any better? Would it change anything? I know it wouldn't have for me. In other words, knowing the "why" wouldn't have brought back the baby I lost or lessened the pain I felt. It was palpable. 

If my mother's wake and funeral were considered "closure" it didn't lessen the pain. It didn't help me cope with losing her. I don't miss her any less nor do any other members of my family. Did my mother's wake and funeral provide any "closure" for me? No. It was a way to say goodbye. It was out of love and respect for my mother's life that we had these things. It was a way for family and friends to gather, offer support, show love.

None of us wanted to say goodbye. We were blessed to have people there to help us through the most painful experience we, as a family and as individuals, were experiencing.

I never got the chance to formally say goodbye, surrounded by family and friends, after I miscarried at four months. I longed for the "closure" I thought a proper burial or some sort of ceremony would bring.

I thought it would help, this thing called "closure". But, a year plus after losing my mother, I see the world differently.  No wake or funeral brought me closure. It was a respectful way to honor a life very well lived, surrounded by family and friends who cared about us and my mother.

I believe the doctor my father listened to said, (with regard to closure), ...people are looking for something that simply isn't there.

I'm paraphrasing...but could that be true?

I'm acutely aware that grief is grief and it hurts. No amount of closure can change that. I wasn't looking for closure when my mother died. I went through the motions of a wake and funeral with the rest of my family, somewhat numb to everything as a sort of protection mechanism.

When someone you love dies, be it your mother, a friend, a spouse, the baby you loved and lost to miscarriage, you grieve, hurt and try to get through each day. We trudge through the muck and each of us does the best we can. Some days are easier than others. There are moments we feel we've conquered or overcome the worst of it, only to find ourselves feeling like we've taken three steps back on a bad day.

I don't think any amount of "closure" can help with that.

Again, I didn't have any closure when I lost my baby to miscarriage all those years ago. When my mother passed away a year and a half ago, the wake and funeral didn't feel like closure to me. My faith carried me, often times being the only light I could see. My faith still carries me.

While I think having a funeral or a celebration of life gives us a way to honor the one we've loved, I also know there's no bandaid for grief. We have to go through it. I think it may help to have what we call "closure" (a wake and/or funeral), but it certainly does not change the way we grieve or the depths of our grief.

When it comes to grief and closure I have to ask:

Does closure really exist?

To that end all I can say is my faith carried me though the days, months and years of grieving and healing after my miscarriage and that same faith is carrying me now after the loss of my mother. Just as I learned to put one foot in front of the other while living a "new normal" after my miscarriage, I am doing the same thing after losing my mother. 

There has been a "necessary acceptance", but I wouldn't use the word closure. That implies something is finished. I don't think love ever is.


Ellen DuBois: I'm the author of I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery and Host of MiscarriageHelp.com. I've also been published with Blue Mountain Arts, and am a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns. Additionally, I'm also known as "Miss Ellen"- a piano teacher to students from 5 to tween and beyond-
I love it!



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Hi everyone! Thanks for stopping by my humble abode on the web. My name is Ellen DuBois, Author of I Never Held You, a book about miscarriage, healing and recovery and Host of MiscarriageHelp.com and I love to blog. I am also published with Blue Mountain Arts, and a contributing author to several books including: Soul Matters for Teens, Sisters, (Blue Mountain Arts gift book), Conquering Panic and Anxiety Disorders- Success Stories, Strategies and other Good News, Romancing the Soul, More God Allows U-Turns. I'm also a piano teacher to over 30 students from 6 to tween and beyond-
and love it.


I Never Held You: Miscarriage, Grief, Healing and Recovery

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This is a wonderful CD. It is by Al and Marlane DuBois, (my parents). If you love piano music, both original pieces and those you already know and love, you will enjoy "It's About Piano, It's About Time! . Listen to the samples. This makes a great gift for anyone who loves quality, beautiful piano music. Perfect for adding ambiance to dinner parties and more. Some of the pieces are perfect for meditation, too.






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